The committee's goals for addressing these subjects were:

1. To clearly and precisely interpret God's Word on these difficult and often contentious subjects.

2. To develop a church wide policy that guides the instruction and spiritual development of Christians at all ages.

3. To encourage holy living for all Christians brothers and sisters - especially those desiring to serve Christ and His church as elders and pastoral staff.

The ad hoc committee met six times with literally dozens of e-mail communications and discussions. The activities included comprehensive reviews of scripture, various printed documents and web site references on exegetical interpretations of scripture references that directly and indirectly refer to the subjects of marriage, divorce and remarriage.

The Council of Elders reviewed, discussed and clarified the ad hoc committee's report during several meetings. The following guidelines were agreed upon by a large majority of the Council of Elders and are established with the goal of providing guidance in the teaching, counsel and spiritual formation of individuals in the areas of marriage, divorce and remarriage by members and friends of Trinity Church.

Preamble

These guidelines affirm Christian love, which originates from a pure heart, a good conscience and a sincere faith (1 Timothy 1:5). Their intent is to encourage Godly living within Christian marriages. First, all who enter marriage should be fully committed Christians holding to the goal of establishing a Christian marriage. Christian marriage is a solemn covenant between a man and a woman, entered into before God who joins them in a lifelong companionship of love for, and commitment to, each other (1 Corinthians 7:10 and 11). It is the divine intention that persons entering the marriage covenant become inseparably united, thus allowing for no dissolution (Matthew 19:6) save that caused by the death of either husband or wife (Romans 7:2). Second, God's design for marriage is more about holiness and righteousness than mere happiness. Accordingly, we hope that the substance of these guidelines encourages couples to enter into the marriage covenant with a deep desire to develop a heart that continues to seek a Godly lifestyle (Matthew 6:33). It is in seeking His kingdom and His righteousness that it becomes possible to develop our love and marriage relationships in a manner that honors God and attracts others to Christ. Scripture clearly defines that God's plan for marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman into a unique 'oneness' that is to be a lifelong, monogamous, holy and God-centered relationship. The new family exists separately from the original families of the man and of the woman (Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7).

The purpose of marriage is to mirror the relationship of Christ and the church. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church and to be her leader and nurturer (Ephesians. 5:25). The wife is to love, respect and to encourage the leadership of her husband (Ephesians. 5:33). They are to submit to Christ and be helpmates together, to serve and honor God and to meet each other's spiritual, emotional and physical needs. They are to be committed to self-giving love which finds its natural expression in sexual union or becoming one flesh (Matthew 19:5, Ephesians 5:31, Hebrews 13:4). They are to be fruitful and multiply and to bring stewardship to the created order. Should the married couple have children, either naturally or by adoption, they are to nurture and instruct their children in the knowledge, love and service to God through Christ (Deuteronomy 6:7 and Acts 2:38,39).

Scripture tells us that marriage is instituted by God from the beginning of creation (Gen. 2:18-24) and that marriage, from both the wife's and the husband's perspectives, reflects the relationship between Christ and His Church (Eph. 5:22-33). While "this mystery is great" (Eph. 5:32), at the very least we see that God is intimately involved in the marriage covenant.

God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Divorce is permitted in special circumstances but even in these situations it is not advocated. There is also an imperative command in Matthew 19:5-6 and Mark 10:8-9 to not separate or divorce. Accordingly, couples should always be proactive in using all possible means to reconcile differences in a manner that preserves the marriage. Those who remarry following a divorce outside of Christ's commands in Matthew 5:32, commit the sin of adultery. As with other transgressions, these too can be confessed and forgiven by the shed blood of Jesus Christ and members may be restored to fellowship when guilt is acknowledged and true repentance for sin is expressed. Trinity church must, however, exercise diligent care in considering divorced persons who have remarried as candidates for church office.

Before considering the breakup of a marriage, let us look at the biblical perspective concerning this relationship. In speaking of a husband and wife, Malachi says: "...the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the Lord made them one? ... So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel." (Malachi 2:14-16)

Few experiences in life are more agonizing than the dissolution of a marriage. The consequences can span generations and affect God's Glory and our lot in eternity as well. Such a conclusion should never be considered lightly without prayerful and diligent study of God's Word with the intent of pure obedience to His will as revealed in the scriptures. "Innocent parties" of any marriage are seldom found.

However, the weaknesses of one or both partners may lead to gross and persistent denial of the marriage vows; yet only in cases of extreme unfaithfulness (physical or spiritual), for which there is no repentance and which is beyond remedy, should separation or divorce be considered.

Divorced persons should give prayerful thought to discover if God's vocation for them is to remain unmarried, since one failure in this realm raises serious questions as to the rightness and wisdom of undertaking another union. The remarriage of divorced persons may be sanctioned by the Church in keeping with the redemptive gospel of Christ when sufficient penitence for sin and failure is evident. Remarriage should only occur after a divorced individual clearly articulates a personal commitment to a lifelong Christian remarriage (Mark 10:7-9, Romans 7:2).

Guidelines

1. That remarriage is permitted in the event of the death of one's spouse (Romans 7:1-5; 1 Cor. 7:8-9).

2. That there are two reasons cited in the bible for divorce to be allowed, the sin (Matthew 19:8 and Mark 10:5) of sexual immorality [a] (Matthew 5:31 and 32) and the sin of intentional abandonment [b] (1 Corinthians 7:15). (Note: a and b are further defined on p.4.)

3. That a spouse against whom sexual immorality [a] has been committed may have the right* to remarriage (Matthew 5:31 and 32; Matthew 19:9).

* 1 Cor. 7:11 indicates that she/he must remain unmarried or be reconciled and 7:39 indicates one is bound (deo-bind or obliged by a moral or religious obligation) as long as the spouse lives. These verses assume that both individuals are Christians so their chief obligation is to forgive each other and reconcile the marriage. Time is not a constraint. The only way this scripture appears to permit a believer to remarry is if reconciliation and reunion were impossible. Hence, verse 7:39 death of the spouse. Perhaps Deuteronomy 24:2-4 would be another exception in that if one of the former spouses should remarry then the other spouse cannot remarry the one they divorced even if the subsequent marriage is ended by divorce or death. In that case they could / should reconcile, but remarriage is impossible ("an abomination.").

4. That a spouse who has been abandoned by an unbelieving spouse is not bound to the first marriage and has the right to remarriage (1 Corinthians 7:15).

5. That a spouse who was divorced prior to accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior has the right to remarriage (2 Corinthians 5:16-19).

Application of the guidelines by staff

Those who are ordained and/or licensed to perform marriages through the ministries of Trinity Church will follow the aforementioned guidelines when giving counsel regarding marriage and divorce (Romans 13:1). The following guidelines also apply:

1. That a reasonable amount of time for counsel and reflection be given in each request for marriage and/or remarriage before a final decision is made regarding Trinity Church's willingness to perform such a ceremony. (Ephesians 5:8-17)

2. That premarital counseling offered by Trinity Church be required for all who are to be married through the ministries of Trinity Church, and that the counsel given these couples be consistent with all the aforementioned guidelines.

3. That education regarding the sanctity of marriage for life, Godly love, and the biblical guidelines for divorce and/or remarriage be integrated into the educational programs of Trinity Church. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)

4. That although God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16, Matthew 19:6), He loves the divorcees, and so do we at Trinity Church.

5. That those who are ordained and/or licensed to perform marriages through the ministries of Trinity Church are free to follow their consciences regarding the refusal to perform marriages of one or both parties who have been divorced. Although these guidelines are to be followed in determining the viability of marriage and/or remarriage, Trinity staff who are licensed to perform marriages, therefore, can deny marriage to a couple, based on their conscience as guided by personal interpretations of the Scriptures. These personal beliefs will be made known to the marriage applicants as the convictions of the pastor/licensee and not necessarily those of Trinity Church.

Definition of Terms:

a. Sexual Immorality (As it relates to married couples): Any activity by either party of a marriage that violates the biblical standards for sexual morality in marriage. This refers only to adultery, and any other sexual activity that breaks the covenant bond between a husband and wife.

b. Abandonment (as it relates to married couples): The action of husband or wife that results in their intentional breaking off the covenant relationship by refusing to remain in the marriage during professional counseling for reconciliation of their marriage of refusing to seek such help. This action would result in a failure to care for the family, to provide for the well-being of the family and/or to leave the home.

Additional Sources: (All scriptural references are quotations from the NIV)

1. Adams, J.E. 1980. Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible, 99p. Zondervan Publishers.

2. Computer word searches in the Bible for: Divorce (33) and Adultery (47)

3. Heath, W.A. and G. J. Wenham. 1984. Jesus and Divorce: The Problem with the Evangelical Consensus. Thomas Nelson Publishers. 287p. (In Trinity Library)

4. Laney, J.C. 1981. The Divorce Myth: A Biblical Examination of Divorce and Remarriage. Bethany House Publishers. 147. (In Trinity Library)

5. Laney, J.C., W. Heth, T. Edgar, and L. Richards. 1990. Divorce and Remarriage; Four Christian Views. Inter Varsity Press. 267p. (In Trinity Library)

6. Lankey, B. 2002. Divorce and Remarriage. www.wayoflife.org/fbns/divorce&remarriage.htm 8p.

7. Westminster Confession, Evangelical Presbyterian Press.